Jake Harper
Jacob David "Jake" Harper is one of the main characters in Two and a Half Men. He is played by Angus T. Jones. Jake is the son of Alan Harper and Judith Harper and the nephew of Charlie Harper. A recurring theme with his character is having really low grades and eating a lot, as he's lazy. He is the butt of many jokes in the show due to his general lack of smarts, understanding of a word, and self confidence, as well as being oblivious to the fact he is being made fun of. He is a reasonably nice kid but he's also lazy and unmotivated, particularly when it comes to his schoolwork (he barely passed into high school). Alan once hoarded money from his chiropractic clinic by saying he couldn't count on Jake to support him when he grew old, saying, "The only hope for him is if missing the toilet becomes a professional sport." His grandmother Evelyn has said she will pay for Jake's college education and buy him a car when/if he gets into a university, but she also discovered that, somewhat surprisingly, Jake is an excellent cook, which might be a viable career path (possibly the only one) for the food-loving lad. Jake also likes to undertake expensive hobbies and then give up on them, which annoys Alan because he has to pay for them under his child support agreement. When Alan fell into a depression after his second divorce, Jake told his father that he loved him but added, "You're my dad...I pretty much HAVE to love you." Contrary to popular belief, Jake does not sing the intro song and the "half men" refers to the fact that Jake is "half an adult". While Jake is one of the three central characters, he is featured less than Charlie Harper and Alan Harper and there have been some episodes where he is not in any central story lines and is only heard from briefly. Alan once told a date that his ex-wife Judith has primary custody of Jake, which explains where Jake is when he's not around his father and uncle. Throughout the sixth season no one knows that Jake found out what happened between Alan and Judith---except Charlie---because Jake wanted to make sure it wasn't the truth but Charlie told him it was. Jake thinks it's cool because he wants to see Judith's reaction if his half sister is his full sister. Jake can also play the guitar. Originally it was a form of rebellion, but it eventually became a hobby. When he first introduced his guitar skills into the show he wasn't very good, but he has drastically improved as he helped Charlie Harper to write a song for a Japanese kids' T.V. show in exchange for cliff notes for his book report on Lord of the Flies. Not Long ago, Jake made friends with Eldridge, a kid who hates his parents and plays drums. Eldridge is always thinking of things to do and they usually get him into trouble. Jake recently found out his dad was dating Eldridges mom and after he found out told Alan and Charlie he wanted to live with Judith and Herb, Alan however promised Jake he wouldn't keep secrets from him anymore and came to live with him and Charlie again. Alan thought Eldridge was a bad influence on Jake for convincing him to steal beer from Charlie, get drunk, and sneak out when grounded, but lets it slide when he dates Eldridge's divorced mother Lyndsey. The kids don't learn about the relationship until much later. Eldridge and Jake were both against the relationship, especially upon the decision to move in together. Charlie bribes them with money so as to get Alan out of the house. After the house is burnt down, Eldridge, his mom, Alan, and Jake, all move in with Charlie. Eldridge and Lyndsey move out when Chris McElroy, Eldridges dad, reunites with his mom. A few episodes later, he went over to Charlie's to see Courtney try on dresses with Jake. Series Progression Season 1 Jake in Season 1 was much different from his personality in the following seasons. He has a bit overweight, kind, charming, and was very similar to a sterotypical American kid. He was also a lot more innocent. Charlie even began questioning his lifestyle after a few days. Although he disliked Charlie's lifestyle, Alan chose him over Evelyn, not wanting him to turn out like they did. Jake realized his parents were divorcing, but treated it casually. Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 The most notable thing about Jake is his change in Season 6. Aside from going through puberty, his voice becomes notably deeper, his hair gets longer and paler, and he become taller and thinner, although retaining his emornous appetite. Season 7 Season 8 Season 9 In the premiere, "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt", Jake did not show much sorrow about Charlie's funeral and after Rose uses the term "balloon full of meat" when describing Charlie's death he starts to get hungry. He was more interested about fod than his uncle's "death." When Judith drops Jake off at Charlie's old house they see a naked Walden Schmidt hugging Alan, Alan then introduces him to Judith and Jake and tells them he's buying the house, Judith approves of Walden right away. In "People Who Love Peepholes", Jake make a brief appearance at the beginning of the episode, as Alan left him at the house when he left. In "Big Girls Don't Throw Food", Jake gets influenced by Walden to leave school and start his own buisness, telling Jake he had skipped part of high school and college, starting his internet work, and had made his first million when he was 19. This was Jake's first major appearance of the season due to developing Alan and Walden's relationship. When Judith finds out about Jake dropping out of school, she drops by Charlie (now Walden's) Malibu Beach House to discuss Walden's influence on Jake about Jake's dropping out of school but ends up kissing him, Not knowing that Jake was fliming the whole ordeal. Jake was still planning to quit high school. As of "Those Fancy Japanese Toilets", it is heavily implied that Jake loses his virginity to his chemistry tutor, Megan, due to her becoming extremely horny from looking at Walden. Though it can be believed that they were just making out as shown in the following episode. However Jake was extremely grateful which isn't something Jake would do. Jake later mentions in "Frodo's Headshots", that they have never had sex, after Alan has a nightmare where he dreamed Jake had got Megan pregnant. In Fish Bowl Full of Glass Eyes, Jake had begun sucking up to Walden to get some mad money to blow, but ends getting Walden set up on a dat instead and earns a quarter of a million frequent flier miles from Walden that he uses to get to Paris, but he has no idea where in the hell he is. He also seemingly DID have sex wityh Megan as Walden mentioned using his "lucky condom" on his date. While having a heart-to-heart talk with Alan, Jake finally admits that does love and miss Charlie in "Thank You For The Intercourse". He was worried about Alan when he was acting like Charlie. Notable love interests Robin Newberry An unseen character, she was a one episode feature when she provided Jake with a cup cake. Alan got really upset that Jake went to Charlie for "cup cake advice" which could have been meant as a euphemism about sex. She broke up with Jake, which made him start to bake his own cup cakes (which, as Charlie pointed out, completed the sex euphemism). Wendy Cho Though never seen on the series, Wendy was Jake's first real girlfriend. Their relationship began at Wendy's party in season 3's "Just Once with Aunt Sophie", after Charlie gave Jake advice on how to approach her. She broke up with him in season 4's "A Pot Smoking Monkey"; Jake tells Charlie it's because she's in advanced classes and he's in remedial classes. It was mentioned she was of Chinese descent, plays violin, incredibably smart (called by a freak of nature by Alan), and doesn't like sports. Taylor Jake developed a crush on a girl named Taylor in season 4's "Release the Dogs." This was, however, made awkward by the fact that Charlie made out with Taylor's mom even after promising Jake otherwise. Sophie In season 4's " Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous," Jake became smitten with a girl named Sophie (Kay Panabaker), who is the daughter of Alan's gay friend Greg. They presumably stopped seeing each other because Jake accused Alan of "breaking up with" Greg after the latter found Charlie "attractive." Nicole O'Malley Also never seen in the series, Nicole was described as the "hottest girl in Jake's class" in season 5's "Kinda Like Necrophilia". After being dumped by his previous girlfriend, Jake seeks advice; Charlie tells him to call up Nicole. Taking this advice, Jake asks Nicole to the winter dance. Nicole is a bit confused about who Jake is; he explains that he is the one with the big head who sits next to her in geometry. Nevertheless, she accepts, and is never mentioned again. In season 7's "Fart Jokes, Pie And Celeste," a girl referred to only as Nicole calls Jake and invites him down to the pier after she hears he broke up with Celeste. It is unknown if this is Nicole O'Malley; Jake tells Charlie he doesn't know who she is, but it's possible he simply doesn't remember her. In the episode "Tinkle like a Princess" Jake is seen on Charlie's deck with a girl named Nicole but it's unknown if she was this Nicole. Janine Jake is often shown to have an age-inappropriate taste for older women, such as the cocktail waitress Janine (Emily Rose) in season 6's "Thank God for Scoliosis." Janine had also caught Charlie's eye at the time, however Jake is the one who has any success. Megan In Season 8 She is with Jake watching a movie but a drunk Charlie comes and scares her off. She appears in Season 9 again as Jake's tutor but Jake has an interior motive which works for him and she goes to third base with Jake, finally becoming his girlfriend. In Frodo's Headshots, Jake is believed to have got Megan pregnant though this is revealed to be a dream. Birthday Jake was born on March 14, 1994, which was also Albert Einstein's 115th birthday. His birthday is the code for the alarm in his mother's house. Personality Jake is a lazy underacheiver, and is not incredibly bright. However, he is skilled at poker, is incredibly sarcastic, and can at times be manipulative. Jake cares deeply about the girls he dates, as shown with Celeste, and his devastation when she dumped him. Family History Paternal grandmother: Evelyn Nora Harper Maternal grandmother: Lenore Maternal grandfather: Fred Maternal great-grandfather: Bill Half-sister: Mildred "Milly" Melnick-Harper (possible sister) Stepmother: Kandi (formerly) Stepfather: Herbert Gregory "Herb" Melnick Uncle: Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper (Deceased) Foster Uncle: Walden Schmidt Aunts: Liz, Myra (step-aunt), Betty, Gloria (possibly half aunt) Category:Main Characters Category:Titular Characters Category:Characters Category:Season 1 characters Category:Season 2 characters Category:Season 3 characters Category:Season 4 characters Category:Season 5 characters Category:Season 6 characters Category:Season 7 characters Category:Season 8 characters Category:Season 9 characters Category:Harper Family